love Funny Status Messages
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Captain and Tennille divorcing after 39 years? But I thought "Love was going to keep you together"? I guess he got tired of "Doing it to her one more time"
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01-23-2014 13:47 by Darrell
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If I'm ever in a coma, please don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love.
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08-31-2014 14:00 by Steve OH
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I'll give you an exact definition of "in love". When her bra and underwear match.
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05-06-2010 21:43 by Joser
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I'd love to have sat in the marketing analysis meetings that gave us our early cartoons. "You know what America would love? A batsh*t crazy woodpecker, that's what! And a pig, a stuttering f*cking pig!"
STRESS:- The bodies natural physiological response to restraining oneself from strangling the living s#$t of someone who really deserves it. ahhhh gotta love my job!!! lol
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02-20-2010 12:25 by Theresa
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some song lyrics are just so wrong.. "I drove all night to get to you, is that alright? I drove all night, crept in your room Woke you from your sleep, to make love to you Is that alright?"...No Roy, it was not alright at all!!!
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10-22-2011 14:31 by Memz
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Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.
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11-27-2014 08:04
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Why do fools fall in love? Because smart people know that, odds are, it will end horribly.
"Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?" "Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."
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05-27-2013 13:03
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If you truly love someone you roll down the window to scoop out the fart you put in the car.
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10-05-2011 05:58 by flinnie
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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
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10-20-2011 05:46
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thinking God must love stupid people...he made so many!
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06-20-2009 06:10
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I love it when the person's laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
Man I hate Taylor Swift..I mean don't you wanna put her over your knee and spank her azz,,,her tight, firm, round azz,,,and pull her hair,,,her soft, flowing beautiful hair,,,man I love Taylor Swift.
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12-20-2012 20:49
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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
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01-14-2015 16:05
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Some people call me the Space Cowboy., some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice.... those people suck at nicknames.
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05-07-2015 14:14
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You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness... You'd be amazed what people will overlook when they love someone...
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09-26-2010 10:19
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Dear sleep , I kow we had problems when I was younger but I love you now.
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10-25-2012 23:23
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Don't you just love how all the Casino billboards get you excited to spend your money then at the bottom of them all they give you the gambler's addiction #... Thats like me putting up a Billboard for a Heroin Party n giving you the # to the cops...
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09-06-2010 21:57
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Kindness is just love with its workboots on.
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09-13-2010 06:48 by Hymie
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