equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages

   I didn't say you were stupid, I said that "i see a pole and body glitter in your future"

   my ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!

   Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people!

   water is the leading cause of drowning...

   She said I was crazy but I talked it over with the Coffee pot and the Tea kettle and they both agreed that she didn't know what she was talking about.

   In a survival situation you can drink your own urine. Fortunately my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the bottle and I didn't need to.

   Just made a dentist appt to have my eyes checked. I can't hear a thing.

   I have nothing against black folk. One of my best friends thinks he is black.

   My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I cant take it anymore, I'm going to moms" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?

   just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm all alone, I have food and internet!

   A girl plays with your mind, A woman explores it.

   has plenty of girls who can suck, he's looking for the one who can blow his mind

   I don't want your girlfriend. No one wants your girlfriend... Thats why she's with you!

   I like people how I like my coffee... I don't like coffee.

   you remind me of monday. No one likes it either.

   I dont care one Iota about leaving a better planet for our kids. I think we should be focused on leaving better kids for our planet.....

   I ain't voting for Monica Lewinskys ex-boyfriends wife.

   Your dirtier than my browsers history!

   WALMART, because going to TARGET requires taking a shower.

   I feel a spree coming on... Now its up to you.... Shopping or Killing?