@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   Shocked Justin Bieber did not win a BET award.....don't worry Justin neither did Hanson, Nelson, or Hasseloff.

   I went to Chick-fil-a for lunch...You have to try the Chick on Chick sandwich...

   When it comes to my omelette cheese I'm Un-American. #whitechesseplease

   chugging scalding Hot Lava just to cool off....

   Kids don't like meatloaf…but add some candles kids love meat cake….

   What do you think i'm some kind of Summoner?

   2015 Come on everybody let's party like a Cleveland Browns back up quarterback!!!

   Oh, I would love to stay for your yoga class....but, I think I would rather floss with barbwire or give myself a tattoo.

   Santa must think my name is Cole.......

   2 hours ago · WOW... I think Easter is getting here earlier and earlier....apparently I missed Justin Bieber's neighborhood egg hunt.

   I just cooked vegetables on my Foreman Grill....is that even legal....I feel dirty..

   NEWS FLASH: Dodgers announce opening-day promotion: first 1000 fans get a set of "HIV & HER" bathroom towels

   Hey bartender, that piña colada you just made taste like SPF 40!

   It took 3 amigos and a Mexican village to take care of El Guapo...Donald Trump has zero Amigos, advantage El Chapo!

   at the DMV....I guess there on the honor system...I'm 3 inches taller and I just lost 65lb's.

   What does Whitney Houston and Madonna and me have in common ... All of us didn't sing at the Super Bowl this year .

   Quote from the movie Project X..."That guys so old he probably graduated in 1986"..ouch .I'm frickin Dinosaur...  

   Best worm parent advice... Try to sleep in kids.

   regretting his decision to celebrate hump day by getting a camel tattooed on his big toe!

   Wake up on a strangers couch...check...use GPS to find out where I am....check ....walk to eat alone....check....return Tyson's Tiger...