santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   ....MMmmm Santa, I'm so naughty I'll turn your HO HO HO into OH OH OH!!

   To America's welfare recipients..."your welcome for a great year and a free Christmas"...from the rest of us hard working Americans that work for hard your well being every day.  

   Dreaming of a White Christmas? You r@cist b@stards.

   I was so angry at my parents when I found out Santa wasn't real, I stormed out of the house, got in my car and just drove and drove.

   Dear Santa, This year please bring me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix them up as you have in previous years. Thanks!

   There has been only one Christmas – the rest are anniversaries.

   A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.

   Anyone know about how much Santa weighs ... I am currently setting a trap and need some info.

   thinks businesses that make their employees work on Christmas day are from the devil! Except for the gas stations and all of the other businesses I'm going to need today.... those ones are sent from God!

   I need to get a santa suit and walk into the strip club to see what the girls will to do santa to get off the naughty list.

   Yes, Christmas comes but once a year. So does every other day! February 29th, now theres a day to celebrate!

   My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for new underwear.

   may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping."

   Fellas; If your fiancé designs her own engagement ring, prepare for a life of sex on your birthday and holidays only.

   Scientific fact: You do in fact have a wonderful Christmas time when you don't hear that awful Paul McCartney song.

   I just hid my teenage son's Christmas gifts behind the vacuum, in the dishwasher and next to the trash can that needs to be taken out.....guaranteed he will never find them!

   All I want for Christmas is you...hit by a bus!

   gonna take the Christmas lights down...

   I'm so glad they brought back the McRib for the Holidays...I always wanted an angioplasty for Christmas! ツ

   For Christmas I'm asking Santa for a great big sense of entitlement that can only be filled with materialism! - earth kids.