KIsstopher Funny Status Messages

   Never compliment a girl on Twitter, she'll reTweet it and make you look thirsty.

   Why do men chose to mess with a lot of mediocre women when they can have ONE great one? I guess Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) excite them.

   Women are like maths. As soon as you think you've finally figured it out, something harder and more confusing comes along.

   The loser contestants who come back to sing on finale shows suddenly look like escaped mental patients.

   If you love someone set them free. If they comeback, probably it was a Fast & The Furious Movie.

   If you thought the waitress gave you excellent service, is a 20% tip appropriate? How about a slap on the ass?

   Some friends I would trust with my life, others I wouldn't trust with my drink and the rest I would be mad to trust with my girlfriend.

   I make PMS jokes around women all the time just to know what it feels like to live dangerously.

   Love is that gun we all use to commit suicide.