Jeff Funny Status Messages

   if I took a drink every time Musburger said "Honey Badger", I would have passed out in the 3rd quarter.

   Every since I bought this shake weight . I'm putting way too much salt on my food!!

   The political frustrations of this week remind me how happy I am to have allegiance to greater kingdom.

   RESEARCH: Tin foil hat club. Too much time on hands club. Lives in parents basement club.

   The Asians haven't been this embarrassed since William Hung was singing "She Bangs, She Bangs"

   Im thinking of opening a specialty store that caters to people with A.D.D. I will call it "The Shiny Squirrel". Or I might just throw rocks at this tree.

   excuse me ma'am, how many ping pong balls can you fit in your mouth?

   Your luck is so bad, that if I put a bucket of pu*sy in front of you, you would reach in pull out an a**hole!!

   I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel...Just hopeing it's my friends with a 2 million watt spotlight and not a train....

   Of all great losses in life, Time is the most irrecoverable. It can never be redeemed.

   I was a little disappointed in my morning.. the crayon said peach.. but it sure didn't taste like peach!

   Last night went to a corn maze for the first time ever! It was aMAZEing. I thought it would be CORNy, but we had so much fun. They did have a few STALKers, don't worry, I was all EARS. Had a blast!

   Brett Favre told the Vikings he is retiring today, but also said he will sign his new contract by Friday.

   there is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot