Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   I swear girls these days. Some of them wake up with a higher sperm count than the men

   If you're not happy being single. You're not doing it right

   Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.

   Blood makes you related but loyalty makes you family

   I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without sex and alcohol and the other 50% happy.

   The words "Haters" and "Swag" are overused by the people who have neither

   The definition of attention seeking.. Updating your Facebook status in capital letters!

   Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean.

   Ladies no amount of alcohol should ever make you go barefoot in the club. You are not Wilma Flintstone

   When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

   When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!

   If you Happy and you know it thank your ex

   Some people are only alive in this world because I really don't want to be someone's b!tch in prison

   I hate it when tramps sit next to cash machines and ask you for change, cash machines only give out notes. If you want change, go sit next to a pay phone!

   Omg look at my baby scans, they are so original and definitely don't look exactly the same as every other baby in the world.

   Roses are red violets are blue, porn hub is down. So your mother's Facebook will do

   Humans are the only creatures on earth that will cut down trees, make paper, then write "SAVE TREES" on them.

   Sometimes I don't understand women, they can walk around all day in public wearing a bikini but when they catch me looking at them in their bra and underwear, they scream the place down!

   Some girls will stop speaking to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same cheating guy a millions times...

   I need a female exercise partner. When I say exercise I mean emotionless sex.