@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   likes to sell things to guys with fake hair just so he can say, "How are you going Toupée?"

   thought Brett Farve was done throwing TD passes to Greenbay Packers....does last nights touchdowns count towards his Packer stats?

   Since the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France, I'm surprised she didn't come with both arms raised....Have a Happy 4th of July!

   Trying to put together last night events. No tiger in the bathroom. No face tattoo, ....can't find my pants

   feels great today....yesterday to combat the Tryptophan drowsiness he marinated his turkey in red-bull!

   Not since the OJ chase has American been disappointed with a slow white bronco

   declaring 2012 is the year of the Honey Badger! Google  "Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger"

   Just saw Styx at the County Fair....Wow,  if you gave them machine guns they could double as the Euro-Villans  from Die hard....

   Devil with the blue dress on...oh wait is that a Gold dress. Well, either way .....the prince of darkness is a cross-dresser.

   I'm sooo tired I spent all night reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen

   accidentally ordered the Chewbaco at Jack in the Box…it's terrible I found a huge hair in my wookie taco.

   Halloween costume idea #27 Ronald McDonald outfit, suit jacket, and Red Wig comb over…Ronald McDonald Trump!

   Captain Crunch of the Italian cruise liner just invited Billy Cundiff to his Super Bowl party!

   thinks Elvis is the only King to actually die on his throne...(flush...sfx)

   Watching the Walking Dead and eating strips of Tri-tip soaked in BBQ sauce is turning out to be a horrible decision.....

   .. .----. -- / -... .-. .. -. --. .. -. --. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / -... .- -.-. -.- ? ? ? Screw texting I'm bringing Morse Code back

   The legend goes that St. Danica Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.....must be hard to put all the tiny seat belts on all the snakes.

   Orange is the new Black, so....Have a great Orange Friday

   do not go to Jareds...he's creepy.   He had no diamonds....just a huge pair of jeans that smelled like sandwiches and folds and folds of SKIN!

   you would think Mrs Brady would have got her crabs from Sam The Butcher...