KIsstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm surprised more workplace violence isn't motivated by the vending machine's refusal to accept a dollar bill.
←Rate | 09-01-2012 14:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 14:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry and stress too much over material things. Material things are good to have but they aren't everything. Have you ever seen anyone stuff a Bentley or a mansion in their casket and take it to Heaven?
←Rate | 10-31-2011 09:29 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol + Taylor Swift + Drugs = Ke$ha
←Rate | 03-23-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's a Booty Call!
←Rate | 12-21-2011 04:23 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon She asked me how to spell slut. So I helped her spell her name.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 11:30 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon ”How about it mate?” Australian women can be so romantic.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 02:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leave the thing you're supposed to do today for tomorrow cause maybe you'll die and then you won't have to do that thing.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when a stranger smiles at me and I have to smile back and pretend I'm not dead inside.
←Rate | 02-03-2013 08:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is much more interesting when you have a DIRTY mind.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 02:52 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon We have a robot that shoots lasers, they have a fruit. I think androids win.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 13:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sexual preference is you… daily!
←Rate | 04-03-2012 13:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't lose weight; you get rid of it, unless you intend on finding it again.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 14:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 14:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know who all these people in stock photos are, but I've never met anyone who was so happy to be in a meeting.
←Rate | 04-30-2013 09:31 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Real men kill spiders for their women with no goddamn backtalk.
←Rate | 01-13-2013 10:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 12:55 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crack the whip on yourself but be lenient with others. Unless they're into that sort of thing.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 14:33 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who invented underwear must have sounded crazy.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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