friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.

   bye bye weekend! it was fun being with you! cant wait to see you next week!

   WARNING! As of Friday, Facebook will automatically start dragging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings > Planetary Settings > Trajectory, then UNCLICK the box that says "Apocalypse." Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and pa

   Warning for all you weekend basketball league playing guys: Be leary of the guy who smacks you on the butt and says "Nice shot, man!" when you didn't even take a shot...

   Saw Jennifer Lopez's boob today. Successful weekend.

   BREAKING: White House informs the public of excess bread in America resulting from a lack of sandwiches being made this weekend.

   Girlfriend asked me to come to her place for a Black Friday special. All clothes were 100% off.

   If this weekend were any shorter it would be called a Kim Kardashian marriage.

   aaah the weekend... drink triple, see double, act single.

   Its finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!

   If 40 is the new 30, then Monday is the new Friday.

   It smells like... FRIDAY!! (In case your sniffers busted.=)

   Clemson Vs Georgia Tech this weekend........ Up for Clemson....... Down for Georgia Tech

   The search for Friday night is followed much too quickly by the discovery of Monday morning.

   feels like Simba in Lion King, you know that part where he's stuck in the stampede, and his dad dies saving him, but then later he meets Timon and Pumbaa... f*ck black friday I'm going home to watch Lion King."

   A bread factory burned down over the weekend. No one was injured however the place is toast.

   Why the hell don’t liquor stores have Black Friday sales?

   drinking beer so I can drive to the store tomorrow to return the deposit bottles so I can afford to buy gas so I may go get more beer this weekend. Its an endless cycle.

   discovered last weekend that if you play a Nickelback album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Nickelback.

   It's going to be a Good Friday.