Eddy Funny Status Messages

   if "octo" means 8, why is October the 10th month?

   the brain controls body movement....i just picked up my drink with my hands therefore I used my mind to do it....i have magic powers

   I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my own zombie .......a lot of people at the retirement home have walkers

   giving the recent plane accident, I bet now Mitt Romney realizes why the plane windows stay closed

   these neighbors shooting their guns off, you'd think a lot of people just died in The Hunger Games cause the gun sounds kinda like the cannon sound in the movie

   *gets can of compressed air & cleans inside computer*....all my friends are online so I just gave all my friends a blow job

   went to doctor yesterday. the nurse had to stick me with the needle 5 times...with that much poking was they being a nurse or a facebook friend?

   just thought of a good prank...if closterphobic friend passes out drunk & about to awaken slip a bag over their head 9with breathing holes) & watch the fun happen when they realize where they are

   dyslexic people are weird. they pray to a dog

   I still don't know why Microsoft put a talking paper clip in Microsoft Office instead of a talking ink pen they could call your "pen pal"

   I was at a restaurant tonight & I saw the "caution wet floor" sign. I wonder how blind people know. those signs don't have braille

   Why do gender reveal parties only surprise you with blue or pink? I've never seen anyone reveal the whole rainbow. Aren't people supposedly "born this way" ?

   i think the word "divorce" should be hyphenated so the 2 halves of the word are separated

   take Johnnie cochran to Florida with you & you could really do anything then.

   how are OCD ppl made? a German person gets with a British person to make a baby so the baby is "Germish"

   i find it ironic that when you go to the usps website to complain, they tell you to email them

   since camping spoons are white, are they still considered "silverware" or should they be called "whiteware" ?

   My friend is terrible at geography...his grade is below C level

   what does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the restroom? ....the pee is silent

   idk why people get paranoid about getting a chip put in them someday. ...lays & pringles have been putting chips in me for years