KIsstopher Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'KIsstopher': View All Messages
Page: 23 of 35

   messageicon SHREK is the best fairytale ever, it gives ugly guys hope and teaches them that you don't always have to be the most handsome to get the girl and live happily ever after.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:12 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 13:17 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get offended when people assume I think and care about them.Who died and made you money?
←Rate | 10-05-2011 00:08 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon A quick and easy way to take care of a problem is to light it on fire.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 12:49 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've never lost your significant other, you've failed as a sock.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 13:55 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, tell her she looks more beautiful without any make up. She won't believe you but your odds of getting laid will improve enormously.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 12:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be freaked out that I'm knocking at your door. Haven't seen you update your status for a few days, and just wanted to make sure you're okay.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 07:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon So when does "Kris Humphries Nightmare Divorce" begin shooting?
←Rate | 10-31-2011 15:31 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now you make about as much sense as an Alzheimer's patient applying for a job as a history teacher.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget ghosts, forget snakes, forget spiders, forget aliens, forget monsters, forget zombies, The real danger to a human life is often posed by another human. Evil walks among us in human form everyday. We are just too blind to see it sometimes.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 01:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a bad case of the mondays only it's everyday and it's called existence.
←Rate | 09-17-2012 07:23 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon My biggest fear is being the guy that gets pushed out of the way when a criminal is running from a cop.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 06:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If money is the root of all evil, why do they ask for it in churches?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 13:50 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever die because of marijuana, mark on my grave, “I am too stoned to get up!”
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:27 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turned my "Panic room" into a "Hispanic room" so that I have a place to wear my sombrero without being ridiculed.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 12:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Whiskey and Women… The young ones are fine, but I prefer the older ones — well aged and full-bodied.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 12:44 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon As long as we don't let our feelings get in the way, this could be the start of something beautiful.
←Rate | 12-30-2012 10:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is where I choose my victims, twitter is where I meet my accomplices.
←Rate | 10-05-2012 14:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon There would be peace throughout the world if they gave away free chocolate with every tampon purchase.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 11:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, "Optimus Prime? Your table for 2 is ready!"
←Rate | 05-12-2013 07:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left