Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I wish I was Santa...he knows where the naught women live

   new rule....everyone given a "life sentence" by a judge has to start racing NASCAR.....one of them will die fast

   its football season...detroit lions, cleveland tigers, & chicago bears...oh my

   before you know it, Amazon workers will be making Prime money

   alcohol turns people into the little engine that could...i think I can, I think I can

   im ont a big fan of twilight but it does help the ego hearing the ladies say how sexy they think Edward is

   i wonder why all 3 insurance companies don't combine & call themselves "Alstate Farm Bureau"

   if "nice guys finish last" then why do women go for the bad boys 1st?....dont you want a guy that lasts longer in the bedroom?

   I guess in the shower Steven Tyler doesnt know how to "walk This Way: without falling down

   if cannibal kids are in the yard playing with neighborhood children, is that considered "playing with their food"?

   people say "when pigs fly" but dont police have police helicopters...pigs are already flying

   my clothes are christian...this week in the laundry they gave up some lint for lent

   I wont be alone on valentines day....I'll be spending it with 127.0.0.1

   if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was right, I could get it changed into pennies & swim around in it like Scrooge McDuck

   redneck version of ChromeBook ....go to the library & get a book....wrap duct tape all over the covers....you chromed your book

   the man in the moon is so embarrassed....look how red he is

   Coronavirus is like a Thanos you can't see

   everyone is making a big deal about seeing an eclipse...haven't they sat down in a movie theater before?

   what do you call it when a mom orders combo #5? ...mombo number 5 (now you're singing it)

   "don't put all your eggs in one basket" .....good thing we use store bags