Eddy Funny Status Messages

   life is just one big mess.....OCD people hate messes....therefore OCD people hate life

   im gonna get a tattoo to make my pen!s look like a broom...my gf SUCKS at cleaning

   if you act like a douche i'm gonna call you "eve"

   if a cannibal eats a vegetarian does that count as a full course meal?

   now with Hostess going out of business, we wont have any twinkies to eat when the zombie apocalypse happens

   sitting here watching "102 Dalmations" & I wonder if Lady Gaga got her fashion sense from Cruella De Vil

   i find it ironic that in "the smurfs 2" the stepdad explains to Neil Patrick Harris' character how he met his mother

   as a kid my mom used to tell us kids "i dont want to hear a peep"....i just listened to the easter basket & I dont hear anything

   if the "space force" ever drops a dirty bomb on Uranus, they better call it "operation taco bell"

   the doctor says go to the gym but he doesnt say to step inside it....theres a Chick-fil-A next to the gym at the mall

   since New Years is on a hump day (Wednesday) maybe this will be the year I get a lo of humping

   Aibohphobia -- fear of palindromes (ironically it is a palindrome)

   like a good neighbor state farm is there....with the winning lotto numbers

   the early bird gets the worm...but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese

   I'm keeping up with the Kardashians ..... my dad I s gone too

   gravity is every blnode's enemy

   remember people...st patricks day means to wear green clothing....not to drink till you turn green in the face. dont go out drinking too much tonight

   when people refer to "the world's oldest profession" do they mean gardening?...Genesis refers to a Garden of Eden in the beginning

   personal security/ bodyguard is just a paid stalker

   first we need a "space force" then later on, there isn't alien activity at area 51