Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Look low in the northwest sky around 9:45 p.m for the next few days for the NEOWISE asteroid you won't want to miss as it will be a once-in-a-lifetime event!! just like the last several asteroids that flew by.
←Rate | 07-14-2020 09:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Research has revealed a subatomic particle that may actually be shaped like a buffalo. It's been called the Higgs Bison.
←Rate | 07-16-2020 06:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: Can you pick up milk?... Me: [lifts gallon] Yea sure, it's easy... Wife: I mean from the store.... Me: Umm ok, but I would imagine it weighs the same there too
←Rate | 11-05-2016 12:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just met a kid named Denim today so yes, I would definitely like another drink.
←Rate | 11-06-2016 15:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last thing someone who can't decide what to make for dinner needs is 101 different crock pot choices.
←Rate | 11-06-2016 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come documentary makers can find drug makers and hitmen to interview but the police can’t find them?
←Rate | 11-25-2016 05:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could unlearn English for one day so I could hear how it sounds without meaning.
←Rate | 11-26-2016 03:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy
←Rate | 11-26-2016 03:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!
←Rate | 12-11-2016 22:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks real cool, hanging from my car's rear view mirror.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I like most about people? Their dogs....
←Rate | 01-19-2017 21:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Subpoena...Such a silly word. Sounds like a term used to describe a man who is below average downstairs.
←Rate | 02-02-2017 17:35 by GWillikerz Comments (0)  


   messageicon One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
←Rate | 02-02-2017 17:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s too bad you unfollowed me, I was about to propose.
←Rate | 10-02-2020 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you take a closer look, you will see a piece of mind your own business stuck in my teeth.
←Rate | 10-02-2020 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Caught my son on an archaeology website looking at dirty pitchers.
←Rate | 10-02-2020 08:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon mechanic: it looks like something was repeatedly shoved in and out of the tailpipe? optimus prime: haha, I wouldn’t—I don’t know anything about that
←Rate | 10-05-2020 08:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want Pizza not your opinion
←Rate | 10-13-2020 05:34 by ChhatradevChaudhary Comments (0)  


   messageicon My phone is on its 4th charge for the day. So don't talk to me about commitment.
←Rate | 02-27-2016 12:28 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to self-absorption, you’re like a sponge.
←Rate | 06-07-2016 05:38 Comments (0)  




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