fadolo Funny Status Messages

   When men give women roses they expect Tulips in return.

   Only ghetto people go to a family party, complain about the food and STILL take 3 plates home.

   How does justin bieber remove a condom? He farts.

   People Dont even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Ins tagram

   If the person is ugly , you call them a stalker. If the person is goodlooking, you call them a secret admirer.

   What food decreases a women's sex drive faster than anything else? Wedding cake

   My head says, "go to the gym." But my heart says, "stay on the internet forever and eat!"

   If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.

   you know some fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…” Others begin with “If elected, I promise…”

   You can stop lifting weights now; it's actually your personality that nobody likes.

   I don't hold grudges but my ignore game is beast mode

   BoObs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.

   HOW LONG IS THIS DORITOS COMMERCIAL!? Grandma, that's just Jersey Shore...

   HoodTranslations101: "Sh*t just got real" = The situation has escalated to the highest point of seriousness & is no longer a laughin matter

   Sometimes when I wanna be really romantic........ I light a candle when I masturbate

   Women wake up yawning while men wake up with an erection. Coincidence?? I think NOT

   The best way to get high for free is to tell potheads you've never smoked before.

   When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.

   Chick called the cops on me cause she opened her closet and I handed her a shirt. This why chivalry is dead

   Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it's like a high-five for your feet.