cpaman Funny Status Messages

   Note to self: Do NOT fly Malaysian Airlines.

   Mardi Gras reminds me how much inflation changes things. Beads used to buy you the island of Manhattan, now you only get two coconuts

   Are we sure about this George Jones news? He may just be playing possum.

   I think that Biden got confused with picking Mayor Pete as Transportation Secretary. He is a Rhodes Scholar, not a Roads Scholar.

   Wish that the media was more interested in Hillary's emails than Tom Brady's deflated balls

   I guess orange is officially the new black

   After Colorado legalized marijuana, Peyton Manning bought 20 Papa John's stores in Colorado. If this football thing doesn't work out, I say he's got a bright future in finance

   After seeing Stephanie, I see why it's called "Fuller House"!

   Guns don't kill people. Husbands that come home early do

   FarmersOnly.com. Now there's an alternative to Ancestry.com to meet your cousin

   Cheer up LeBron. You did win the MVP after all. Most Visible Privates

   Community cancelled. Well it shouldn't take five plus years to get a two year degree anyways. Smart move NBC!

   I remember 2012 like it was yesterday

   I'm glad that Christmas is over so I don't have to see that no talent ass clown who became famous and started winning Grammys on Honda commercials anymore!

   Bing Bing Harro prease!

   Of course Snoop volunteered to play outfield for today's Celebrity Softball Game in Cincinnati. That's where the grass is!

   Jerod has been sentenced to 15 years of all the footlongs that we wants

   If it's fat, drunk, and slow, it must be Chicago

   It's nice to see that SNL let Miss Piggy host SNL tonight

   @cpaman1981: Easter is on April 20th this year or as in the folks in Colorado and Washington call it, Sunday