Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   A friend will calm you down when you are angry. A best friend will skip beside you with a bat singing, "Someones gonna get it"

   First rule of Vegan Club... Tell everyone.

   Did you ever notice all the people in casino commercials are young, attractive and not in need of oxygen?

   Facebook has saved me thousands of dollars on Birthday Cards!!! (suck it hallmark)

   Just witnessed my dog catch fire while "draggin' ass" on our dead lawn.

   Surprised I didn't see pics of kids kicking and screaming titled, "Second Day Of School"

   Come to think of it... I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

   go to all your friends status updates and type in... You spelled ANAL wrong.

   Who's up for some curling in my driveway?

   I wonder if the lady that takes your drivers license picture at the DMV takes selfies when no one is watching...

   That is correct Monday. And the horse you rode in on...

   Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!!!

   My "Facebook Moments" thing is just a bunch of pictures of me getting drunk so, whatever...

   "That's What." - She

   Get your popcorn ready! It's Movie Night in Ferguson again!!

   I have reached that point of my day where no more productivity is possible...

   ever wonder where hoarders come from? have a Yard Sale....

   I swear my wife buys sports bras just to piss me off...

   BAM!!! Another Day Not In The Obits!!!

   This beer sure tastes like I'm on vacation next week!!!