Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer.

   If a girl says, "I hate drama" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen.

   We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're offended and expecting us to give a f**k.

   If you ever get angry at one of my posts, the last thing you should do is tell me about it. That just makes it even funnier for me

   I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me

   Have you ever noticed people who work in designer stores have attitudes like they can afford to not work in a store?

   If you wouldn't make her your wife.. Don't make her a mother!

   Getting married at 18 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

   I like the fact that you can see someone's location on their Facebook profile. Because It makes it easier for me to avoid them.

   If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera . You attention seeking hoe

   1992: Girls got undressed for their husbands. 1995: Girls got undressed for money. 2012: Girls get undressed for likes on Facebook and Instagram

   being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible

   Even though Halloween is meant to be about dressing up as scary evil monsters, people still complain if you go as Hitler

   Facebook should have an automatic detection service that as soon as someone posts something regarding the gym or healthy eating, then they immediately get rewarded with a medal that they are obviously after.

   Got my wife some lovely perfume for Xmas, its called Tester.. Hope she likes it.

   My ex called me today. I answered by screaming "HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!" and hung up. That should make her wonder a little bit...

   I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning and the next day I do it all over again.

   I'd rather watch a candle melt than play a game on Facebook

   If you're not sweating, you're not doing it right

   You know you were drunk last night when you cooked pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees