Jack Funny Status Messages

   Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can’t watch Breaking Bad.

   Nothing says "this wont last"...quite like an engagement ring from Wal-Mart !

   .I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check

   Two morons are sitting on a fence. The big one fell off, why didn’t the other? He was a little more on.

   I don't mind drinking 1% milk as long as the other other 99% is some combination of vodka and Kahlua

   I spent 2 years in therapy for my Phil Collins addiction but I did it. Against all odds! Just take a look at me now!!

   3 horrible facts: Today is not Friday Tomorrow is not Friday The day after is not Friday