JAB Funny Status Messages

   College wall posts, Welcome back students. Sex is not allowed in the dorm rooms. The students are like, " Yeah Right "

   Fact is. We'll all get to do the kick the bucket challenge. . .

   The ole saying is: if you can't beat em join em, but don't join the stupid liberals protesting. . .

   The two best days of my life was when I got engaged and the day we broke it off. . .

   Once upon a time a man was told to go f#ck himself and he lived happily everafter. . .

   No, Sorry.. I don't watch dancing with the.. who gives a f#ck. .

   Ladies, ladies, ladies. Seriously, some of your status updates makes me wonder. Maybe you just need to get laid. . .

   You seen one solar eclipse, you seen em all. If you want, I can show you a full moon any day of the week though. . .

   Once you go black, the white man don't want you back !

   The Colts would of lost using a Nerf football. . .

   I am looking for contributors to the go F#ck yourself foundation I am starting. . .

   The greatest feeling in the world is when your girlfriend tells you, you're better in bed than her husband. . .

   If there is anything to learn from celebrities is. Do not take nude photos of yourself. The FBI had better things to do. . .

   The smartest thing I never did, was get married. . .

   Once upon a time there were three little pigs at a pig roast, end of story. . .

   Hey CHOP, try spelling lessons for lent. . .

   Everyone done going turkey hunting in the frozen section ?

   I know what I am going to be for Halloween, I'm going to be drunk. . .

   If Hillary is elected president I am moving to Canada. . .

   Led Zeppelin doesn't have to be your favorite band. But if they're not one of your top three, we shouldn't be friends. . .