@seanathon77 Funny Status Messages

   I use to be a tight end... Now I'm a wide reciever!

   You know.. Ive lost so many guy friends by askin a simple question.." Do you have twitter?"

   Next time a girl pisses you off... Just tell her your guna slap the sh!t out of her t!tt!es.. Wait for her facial reaction to change.. And then walk away like a BOSS!

   Or your a photographer now.. Where'd you go Instagram University?

   Have you ever watched you sister or gf actually play a fightin game? Its like watchin a cat on ice playin with bubble wrap.

   Forget all your "friends" on Facebook.. Wait until your dead and see how many "friends" really show up at your funeral

   Parents: Help you grow from a child to an adult.. Then they become your roommates and get mad when the rent is late..

   Hopefully the guy on the Skywire doesn't have to sneeze anytime soon.. Looks Dusty

   "Smells like a Storms a brewin' Jack!" Ohh God ive been watchin too much Duck Dynasty!

   Hunny... You dont speak a lick of English.. But you repeated my coffee order perfectly! Will you marry me!

   And some people wonder why their test grades are so low.. Or jobs suck so much.. Well when your names DaWanda IDGAFCHOOCHOOTRAIN Jonez.. On your application...NEXT!

   i tell ya... Its been one hell of a start for 2012...

   I have over 200 cds.. This iPod better be ready for this nonsense I call music!

   I love when people see me and say..." Ohh I've been meaning to call you.. But lost your number.." B itch my number hasn't changed in 10 yrs! It should be implanted into your brain cells!

   My voice is so gay an awkward sounding.. I make it deeper at work on the phone or over the PA system to sound like "one of the guys"

   I hope Stanley doesn't get mad when the Bruins take his cup again.

   Wow... My boyfriend deleted me off Facebook last night.. I was single and didnt even know it!

   I love when people hurt your feelings on purpose.. Then yell j/k as they walk away...

   its sad that the teenagers born after 93... Will never get to truely remember Whitney Houston..

   Face it.. Hotel rooms are good for one thing only... Getting laid