@ronniechapman Funny Status Messages
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saw a butterfly today with no wings, so I poured red bull on it and BAMMMM... it died :(
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If your boyfriend answers your text while playing Call of Duty, he doesn't love you. He just died on the game.
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I always keep an emergency $25 gift card in my back pocket for those unexpected gifts that I get from people I wasn't expecting to get a gift from..
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(Sigh) I Got kicked out of Starbucks for trying to order a venti mocha choca latta ya-ya creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaade , again...
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Ladies be careful when a dude asks you to come over and 'chill' it can lead to chill-dren
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I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my phone charger. I had to do what most people would have done... turn back around and go get it.
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Guys that try to pickup women on FaceBook are pathetic. Ladies if you agree DM me your number so we can talk about it...
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This whole rescue could have been avoided if he just stayed in his vehicle. He should have called it in and waited for ems to arrive.
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It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
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Girl I would strap 45 lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you.
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You think the colts are going to win? You better Belichick yourself before you wreck yourself
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Making girls who "aren't like that," like that. All Day, Every day.
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I once dated an amputee. She single-handedly changed my life
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Got "White Boy Wasted" last night.. it's only right I go see The Hangover Part II today.. :)
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Them gas prices going down like White girls in a college town!
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