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Jake Funny Status Messages
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Page: 19 of 21
If at frist you don't succeed........ Read the instructions
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05-02-2018 14:34 by
Jake
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They say that opposites attract...... So I'm looking for a drug adicted unemployed drunk girl.
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07-08-2018 04:05 by
Jake
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Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life?......... I do.
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07-13-2018 00:21 by
Jake
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Texbook: a tex message that way too long.
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07-18-2018 22:32 by
Jake
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It's not the fall off a tall building that kills you. It's the sudden stop.
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09-17-2018 21:31 by
Jake
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You know your farts must really stink when you fart and your dog gets up and leaves the room.
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07-09-2018 11:25 by
Jake
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Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their wifi bill.
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11-09-2017 06:56 by
Jake
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says "If Heat Rises, Surely Heaven is Hotter Than Hell"
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10-18-2009 12:45 by
Jake
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What do you call a nun with a sex change operation....... A tran-sister
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05-06-2018 22:02 by
Jake
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If it wasn't intended for you to have a midnight snack. There would not be a light in the fridge.
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08-11-2018 13:54 by
Jake
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When we first ment on a blind date my girlfriend wasn't that interested in me. Untill she saw me lick my eyebrows.
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01-17-2018 21:02 by
Jake
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You know a restaurant must be serving bad food when you see a mouse throwing up in the restroom.
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05-11-2018 18:21 by
Jake
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Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.
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05-12-2018 00:34 by
Jake
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I lost money in the John Wayne toilet paper co. The T.P. was so ruff it wouldn't take sh*t off of anybody.
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04-08-2018 18:20 by
Jake
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Two girls talking. 1st girl: I've been ask lots of times to get married. 2nd girl: Was it by the same guy? 1st girl: No, by my mother.
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02-10-2018 17:29 by
Jake
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Since Easter sunday is also April fool's day as a April fool's prank. Besides dyeing raw eggs (That I mention in an earlies status) I also willbe substituting the candy choclate balls with chocolate covered brussel sprouts.
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03-22-2018 22:27 by
Jake
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My lesbian neighbors got me a timex for my birth day. But I don't think they understood when I said I wana watch.
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07-04-2018 19:35 by
Jake
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. There's a book on The Cures for aches and pains by Dr. Artur Ritis
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05-29-2018 20:27 by
Jake
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If you could cross a centipede with a turkey you would have enough turkey legs for everyone.
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11-21-2017 07:44 by
Jake
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With all the misspelled words trump has tweeted. I hope he never tweets "Preparing to launch." In stead of "lunch"
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03-22-2018 20:19 by
Jake
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