Marshall the great Funny Status Messages

   Virgin: Deeper Hooker: Harder Wife: mmm grey would be a nice color for the ceiling

   If you piss your girl off, she'll tell you Goodnight at 2pm.

   When you think about your dreams and goals, instead of asking yourself what's stopping you, figure out what's starting you.

   I disagree. Revenge is a dish best served so hot that it will burn your gizzards out.

   When girls are mad at you, there's a typo in every word 'cuz they texting so fast.

   When I get a girl I'm gonna show her off. Guys who think being sweet to their girl is lame have that childish mindstate.

   If you don't grab your girls booty at least 46 times a day, you're living life all wrong.

   My Mom texted me, "What does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?" I answered, "I don't know, love you, and talk to you later." She said, "Ok I'll ask your sisters."

   When the zombie apocalypse hits, I know EXACTLY who I'm tripping first.

   Gotta grab your girls booty in public to let other guys know you bout that life.