life Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if they had put "Osama bin Laden gave his Life to Christ at a Early Age.." on his Obituary like they do other Criminals?

   if history repeats itself then she guesses she won't be rich and famous in her next life!

   been searching and searching all her life, and STILL can't find the yellow brick road!

   -2-Face contact with this so called "Future-me" or it could have serious affects on the way of life as I know it now... "I knew I would own a Delorean one day... HIGH FIVE

   Continuing to play the victim is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Blaming others for your situation in life will indeed make you a victim but the abuser will be your own self, not life or those around you.

   Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get.

   Life is like a $h!t sandwich. The more bread you have the less $h!t you have to eat.

   The worst thing in life is smiling at someone who doesn't even worth a kick in the crotch.

   Sooner or later you will see the BIG PICTURE God is painting for your life instead of just the colors He's using at the moment so dont get your panties all up in a knot

   No matter how bad thing get in life, I can always cheer myself up by thinkin. I could have the reputation of Michael Jackson.

   Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it

   My old Grandad's motto in life was "What you can't see, won't hurt you." He died of radiation poisoning.

   so everyone's so captivated in changing and updating their online status nowadays.. how about trying to update your "Actual" social status where friends can like you in real life for you, than for your imaginary egotistic thoughts about your life.

   Life is like a $h!t sandwich. The more bread you have, the less $h!t you have to eat.

   what with all this god stuff, Stop it . Get a life you must be a myspace person.

   To everyone who take time to "Like" my status the very minute I post my status, Get a life and get off the facebook

   I probably should stop talking about how dumb my dog is considering he’s been homeschooled his whole life.

   going to freeze some sperm for later use in life, but wonders if the ice cube tray makes a suitable container

   I really loved that Stormy Daniels interview on 60 minutes. Best 60 minute of my life!

   In my school days, I used to hate that one kid who always used to remind the teacher about tests, homework and quizzes. But sometimes I wonder how his life turned out though.