Eddy Funny Status Messages

   remember kids to always try 100%...not just 53%...u still need that other 47% to get things done

   i think my teachers were lies ....they said "A for Apple".....the iphone just keeps repeating itself

   since Norman Joseph Woodlawn is dead, I wonder if they're going to put a bar code on his casket

   i don't get it...tonight theres millions of breaking & entering cases but nobody calls the police because they get bought off with presents

   i'm an animal in the bedroom...a sloth

   twas the night before Christmas & all through the trailer park, not a creature was stirring, not even a dog's bark (redneck edition)

   i have all the right answers ...you just ask the wrong questions

   there's no "I" in "we" ....unless you're a gamer #Wii

   if Darth Vader was really black would he have admitted to being Luke's father?

   new way for a woman to get even with her ex....take his credit card & go on a shopping spree at target

   this is a good time to buy the Halloween candy. it makes great stocking stuffers

   forget kay....every kiss begins with a semicolon :*

   later on this week I go to the doctor & see my arch enemy again...the scale

   HALLOWEEN PRO TIP.... put on your costume then over top of it do the classic ghost blanket costume....go trick-or-treating as a ghost then take the blanket off & go a 2nd round as the other costume you wore underneath....double candy

   joe Paterno might be going from Penn State to the state pin

   Everyone is talking about the royal wedding but life isn't a game of thrones

   the store has close parking spots for "new parents"...if I adopt a 10 yr old, do I get to park there?

   it would be really hard to read something Yoda wrote if he was also dyslexic

   i always said "im so hungry I could eat a horse" but I think i'll pass

   a womans mind is like a baby's diaper...gets changed many times throughout the day