life Funny Status Messages

   I once dated an amputee. She single-handedly changed my life

   Oh how that evil ball of hydrogen and helium punishes me on the way home from work with its larger than life flaming brilliance.

   Turning over a new LEAF doesn't mean I've changed~I'm still the same TREE~Jus using different branches to feel the sunshine in life~I've had enough of the shade

   Report out of Nashville: Dolly Parton in traffic accident. Her dual "airbags" obviously saved her life. 😊

   Don't let your life be hell, you get more than enough of that when it's over

   knows. It doesn't bother me at all. Do I hold any hard feelings? Not at all, ... Life is too short to sit around and hold grudges. I don't hold any whatsoever.

   life sucks (mood:optimistic)

   Wondering why I have a belly button, but not being able to imagine life without one

   Body piercing saved your life. -Jesus

   life can taste sour but god can make it sweet

   The three KINGS that bring joy and hapiness to my life: Smo-King, Drin-King & Fuc-King

   Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it.

   Sometimes I wish I could Ctrl, Alt, Delete my life

   A man asks a HOT woman "will you go on a date with me" She says "your not my type" Man Quickly replies "You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"

   You know you have given up on life when you decide to get married.

   Life isn't about getting nude... Its about being nude.... Bring on National Nude Day

   I measure my life in WTF's-Per-Hour. I'll probably get a speeding ticket here shortly.

   3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.

   Our relationship with life itself is compared to a kidnapping situation. The only choice we have is to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome which means that if we don't symphatize with our kidnapper, it will screw us all up.

   What the hell is everyone's deal with lemons? - Life handing out stuff