Sully Funny Status Messages

   I think the Eagles would sign Casey Anthony to a contract if they could......

   Barney Frank is retiring from Congress to coach football at Penn State....

   Oh $hit....... I think my imaginary girlfriend has been cheating on me with some dude from Notre Dame.

   Those little Girl Scout devils got me again. It never fails...

   NBA cancels first two weeks of the season. I hope Kim and Khloe are gonna be ok........

   I am getting pretty low on Girl Scout Cookies.... Threat Level: Orange

   Happy Hurricane Season.......

   Never underestimate a Cat 1 Hurricane: I've never seen a situation involving one cat, water & a blow dryer end well..

   Pro Tip: If your EBT Card is denied... just take out your ObamaPhone and call him.

   Ok......I don't think this Black Friday thing is working. I'm still white?

   Since Obama is negotiating with terrorists......... Let's offer Mexico a prisoner swap. We will give them 11.7 million immigrants in exchange for our one Marine.

   The best part about babysitting the grandkids..... Being able to drink on the job!!

   I'm just sayin it's times like these that I'm thankful for the health of my imaginary girlfriend.... Blessed

   I tried Obama's 1-800 number...... It's is a disaster too. Your best bet is to stuff an ObamaCare application into a bottle and throw it in the ocean.

   Russia and China are now allies, Iran and North Korea are building nukes and Obama is our Commander In Chief? Hmmmm....Where toast!!

   MSNBC: quickly moving back to Bridgegate....CNN: quickly moving back to missing airplane.....Fox News: laughing their asses off......

   Wife and grandchildren are out of town. I'm eating ice cream for breakfast in my whitie tighties, I'm the man of the house now!!

   Dumb is the new smart...

   What if we're all being punked, and Tupac was always a hologram?

   In the Toronto mayor's defense it was maple syrup flavored crack...