Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if Chris Dorner feels like he is jason Bourne

   so many kids give carrots to the reindeer on Christmas & as they're flying you never hear of any droppings hitting a car or a roof.....id like to see that insurance claim

   If you puncture a hole in a garbage bag in order to roll down your window, you might be a redneck

   ill show my neighbor where to stick his subwoofer, bass or whatever he has...ill turn the volume up all the way this time

   if gene pool wre like swimmin pool id drain mine & start over with fresh untainted water

   2 things you never guess on women: age & weight....wrong answers hurt

   too much weed & you're "high".....too much beer & you're "drunk".....do both at same time & I become a "HUNK"

   in another 40 years, i'll have a set of patriot balls

   good joke today...single people change ur realtionship status to "in a relation". when friends ask who it is say "april....April Fools"

   when you go to the doctor & he wants to shake your hand, do you wonder what he did to his last patient with that hand & if he washed it before shaking yours?

   when a kid says a cussword some parents & babysitters will wash their mouth out with soap....if you type a cussword does that mean you should wash ur hands?

   why does the drive-thru ATM have braille?....what blind person is driving a car?

   when you get gifts, people say "its the thought that counts"...my cousin got me deodorant...does she think I smell bad?

   there's that old saying that "you are what you eat" so for Halloween i'm thinking of passing out dum dum suckers to the neighborhood kids

   facebook...u can poke another man's woman & he wont get mad about it

   instead of watches, Timex should make hearts..."takes a cheatin & keep on beatin...takes a dumpin & keep on pumpin

   it would of been cool if Atlanta Falcons had won today....then the Super Bowl could be sponsored by the game "Angry Birds"

   all these pokes I'm getting am I supposed to sound like the pillsbury doughboy

   wqhen the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie....you're a clumsy astronaut

   the government is like my computer....there might just be a problem when it shuts down