life Funny Status Messages

   when you really think about it….life and nature are pretty simple….it's all about finding food, building shelter, and getting some

   making some changes to her life...leave a message and I'll get back to you. If I don't return your message you were one of the changes!

   has performed extensive experiments in the shed and can scientifically conclude that a cat has only one life.

   When the Snake is alive, the Snake eats Ants. When the Snake is dead, Ants eat the Snake. Time can turn at any time. Don't neglect anyone in your life........

   We're living in a real life DC Universe where The Joker pardoned The Penguin.

   LIFE HACK: hide a hot dog in your popcorn to give your date something to play with while you enjoy the movie

   I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life... Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...

   life is about kicking a$$ not kissing it!!!!!

   ► Play the moments ▌▌ Pause the memories ■ Stop the pain ◄◄ Rewind the happiness. Be a remote in your life

   FACEBOOK..... YOU ARE NOT MY THERAPIST!!! DONT ASK ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE!

   If my life ever flashes before my eyes, it will just be me sitting around crying.

   Most priceless thing in my life??? My insanity...it makes everything ok :-)

   Some people spend their whole life searching....I spend it trying to keep a straight face.

   Sorry I ruined your life. I thought you were flirting with me.

   Life is not about what you wanna do, it's about what you can do...

   In the game of life, if you're keeping score you're not "winning".

   you can get whatever you want in this life if you have self confidence,determination...and an AK-47 wz unlimited ammo..

   Did you ever wish you could sometimes freeze frame a moment in your day, look at it and say "this is not my life"? 'Robin Williams, Mrs doubtfire'

   would be high on Life, but she doesn't want to snort the milk.

   Don't celebrate Rush Limbaugh's death. Mourn his life.