Eddy Funny Status Messages

   when ur a kid you ask "why do I gotta pick up my toys?"...when ur an adult you get the answer

   today is hump day & leap day...this will be tricky

   maybe i'll get laid by my wife....she said that will happen once in a blue moon

   im gonna try to improve my life .....↑↑↓↓← →← →B A START ....no it didnt work

   I think Haley Joel Osment should guest star on The Walking Dead one episode..... "I see dead people"

   My ex is great with a pole.... I have the bruises to prove it

   why doesnt a car dealer run for office? they lie & cheat the ppl to get our money already

   who was the idiot to make umbrellas have metal handles? ..."lets hold this over our heads to keep rain off us & keep us dry but lets put a metal handle on it so we hold metal when we have to keep rain off us during storms"

   the best way to get over a woman is to get under another one

   do siamese twins call their colons a "semicolon"?

   rick Perry...texas has a Republicam Governor running for president that seems like an idiot...this sounds familiar lol

   happy 4/20 ......smoke it if you got it

   In honor of the super bowl, whenever I go to poop today, i'll refer to it as "taking the browns to the super bowl"

   i think Hawaiian Airlines should change slogan to "we do wheely well"

   I like to buy someone a birthday gift at CVS so then I can make a ribbon out of the receipt ‪#‎recycle‬

   if your neighbors call the police on you for playing loud music, just tell the cop "you can dance if you want to or you can leave your friend behind..."

   has a mind like a drill bit! It is twisted, and very dangerous if used improperly

   i kinda think the nintendo character mario was on drugs...he ate mushrooms & thought turtles were attacking & had to save the princess from the biggest baddest turtle of them all...this is why you dont do shrooms kids

   when science teachers were gonna talk about "natural disasters" I thought they were gonna talk about relationships

   I have a friend who can tap dance backwards. His name is Pat