life Funny Status Messages

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life : (‾(••)‾)

   I've given up trying to kill you for lent, enjoy your life for the next 38 days.

   I can't wait for all the life long residents in NY to see snow for the first time.

   If you're not having a blast, you're doing life wrong.

   You're not satisfied with your life? Complain about it on Facebook, God must be subscribed to your updates

   Dad Tip: Read fairytales backwards to your daughter. She'll think it's good to give up being a princess for a life of housecleaning.

   Light a man a fire he's warm for a day. Light a man on fire he's warm for the rest of his life.

   Oh,,, Life's all fun and games till you get the first lemon.

   "Water is Life"? Don't you remember the time it tried to drown you?

   I deactivated my automatic spell checker on Facebook. Who I really didn't know in real life anyways.

   Anyone remembers walking far away from your house just to see how good is your wireless home phone reception before it goes out?.....Man did those phones have good battery- life

   I have never prayed so hard in my life that the new Pope that walks out onto that balcony is Dennis Rodman.

   Whenever life knocks me down, I just roll over and gaze at the stars!

   If you need me, I'll be in the shower trying to wash away the last twenty years of my life.

   I will never let my life be defined by my reactions to what other people think, say or do. Greatness lies just past pettiness.

   If life is a highway, that totally explains my inability to merge on to it.

   If my death is as extraordinary as my life... then I should go quietly in my sleep.

   How can you just assume that a gallon of whiskey a day has a negative effect on my life?

   life can be as sweet as you make it.. kinda like kool-aid.. life is kool-aid..

   "I'd like to thank my celebrity life-coaches Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, & Nick Nolte for the overwhelming positive effect they've had on my recent life."