Eddy Funny Status Messages

   ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?

   I've thought of becoming vegetarian but I can never find any bacon seeds for the garden

   someone needs to make a cereal that's in the shape of little cows...when you add the milk, you're milking the cows

   I thought Hurricane Harvey was the miss Universe thing

   brains are like modems....some people can think fast like they are high speed internet....some ppl are slow thinkers like they are dial-up....other ppl have lost connection

   sometimes I think love is like bigfoot......other people claim they have seen it & experienced it but I don't think I ever will

   happy vALONEtine's day to the single people

   the way everything you do is connecting to facebook, I look for bank accounts to get connected one day & the bank teller will say "that check bounced but we see ur friends with this person who looks rich...ask them to borrow some"

   why do ppl say they are "under the weather"?....unless ur an astronaut, were all under the weather

   just call me "Mario" cause I've been looking & looking & cant seem to find a woman either #Nintendo

   now that Zuckerberg is married, if he divorces does she get the "face" half or the "book" half

   when couples get married they should be required to each give up 1 sock & put them together to make a pair of socks....later on if they divorce they get their sock back. "Master has given me a sock. I am free"

   anyone else watching this verbal pay-per-view match? the folks on tv call it a "debate"

   like a good neighbor state farm is there...with winning lotto numbers

   will Hurricane Matthew be followed by hurricanes Mark, Luke & John?

   Why did Bella choose Edward instead of Jacob??? Cause Edward can still go down on her even if it's her time of the month

   i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself

   while fixing the big Thanksgiving dinner remember to cook with wine like all the fancy tv chefs say....you'll be too drunk to realize what the family is saying or doing

   playing Mario & entering the castle.... of course I got a girl on Friday night....forever alone

   my new years resolution is 1680 x 1050