life Funny Status Messages

   If it weren't for marriage, many of us would go through life thinking we had no faults at all

   An American cop fearing for his/her life has a right to take yours even if that fear is unfounded.

   You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and just ride it out.

   I’ve just realized I’ve come to a point in my new life . That I’m extremely happy that my favorite neighbor is that cat that lives three floors down!

   Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life? ...... I do.

   Ciick-fil-a surprises Florida man for his 100th birthday with free food for life.

   Life is not a fairy tale guys........if you lose a shoe by midnight your drunk.

   The best things in life are free drugs.

   Females don't want much from you except your time, attention, space, food, shirts, fun, bed covers, genitals, passwords, credit cards, life and soul.

   Life is good .... the alternative is not.

   Ted Cruz did not go against Trump, He took the last life preserver off the Titantic off the railing and jumped ship. He did not even yell women and children first just took it and jumped.

   Listen, I could have gone my whole life without hearing the term "fecal transplant" and I wouldn't have regretted it.

   When I die I hope my life doesn't really flash before my eyes. There is some $h!t from my past I'd rather not see again.

   I think some of my Facebook friends make completely irrational decisions in life that make no sense whatsoever, and we should hangout more.

   If you thought your life sucked after I honked at you, wait till I throw up my arms in displeasure.

   : A woman at the grocery store stopped me and asked “Do you know where the cheese is?” and it was the only time in my life that I confidently gave directions.

   I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

   My 10 yr old was hugging the cat, & whispering to him "I love you so much that you're the 2nd most loved thing in my life." Aww, I thought, she's still mama's little girl. Then she finished her whisper with "But spaghetti is my favorite thing."

   Does anyone know the cheat code to set life to easy mode?

   I may have done quite a number of bad things in my life... But never tagged 49 people just to get 9 likes