love Funny Status Messages

   I love when people comment on my winter weather from warm climates... "It's 80 here" and your inside on the Internet? Losers always lose

   So I thought about asking the love of my life to marry me. Chicken Parmesan. . .

   I love when I post a status and someone copy's and pastes its and I get 4 thousand likes and they get two.

   My love for bacon is kinda like diarrhea... I just can't hold it in ツ

   The only person you should believe when they tell you they love you is your dog and weed.

   The slower the kiss, the easier for love to slip through.

   All you need is love. And Valentines Day is the perfect time to buy lots of things to prove it.

   Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.

   If god is a dj, life is a dancefloor, love is a rhythm, you are the music, you get what you are given it's all how you use it and god wants you to shake your ass!

   Last night my wife is sipping a glass of wine while sitting with me, she says: I love you so much I don't know how I ever live without you! Me: Is it you talking or is it the wine? Her: It's me talking to the wine!

   It takes real courage to suck another man's c@ck. And any man who can do it can dern well defend the nation I love.

   You chose tragic love story I choose avoiding preventable tragedies

   What's the word for when someone realize that they love you after it's too late? Oh yeah, "get lost loser".

   The problem with feelings is WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

   Maybe you misunderstood me. I love you in a "tennis score" sort of way.

   Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of PARALLEL lines, who were never meant to meet. Of TANGENT lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of ASYMPTOTIC lines, who could only get closer and closer, but could never be together.

   Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.

   I love those people who can make me laugh during those moments when I feel like I can’t even smile.

   Maybe if you really love them you won't put them to the ultimate test of seeing just how much of your bullsh*t they can actually put up with

   Money can't buy love; you are just paying for their attention and time.