Charles35 Funny Status Messages

   used the money I saved on my gym membership and bought PhotoShop.

   thinks the best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?

   Apparently, saying "grande" in a non-Starbucks coffee shop is like shouting the wrong name during sex.

   According to the “you snooze you lose” principle, insomnia makes us winners.

   thinks laughter is the second best medicine. The best medicine is medicine.

   doesn't get drunk - I get awesome!

   believes the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse is the ground.

   thinks its cool for a guy to have sex with his female teacher. Unless he's home schooled.

   refuses to see a doctor whose office plants have died.

   thinks Diarrhea would be a beautiful name, if it didn't mean diarrhea.

   wonders - on a scale from 1 to Osama Bin Lanin, how good was my hiding spot?

   believes "Law and Order" should feature the characters from Scooby Doo - well at least for one episode.

   knows there are things money can't buy. But Ticketmaster is working on ways to charge you for them.

   While pumping gas, if you listen closely, you can hear the pump telling your kid's college fund to go "F" itself.

   watches the Dancing with the Stars each week, hoping "Johnny Lawrence" jumps on stage and sweeps Ralph Macchio's leg.

   took the red pill and woke up broke in Vegas. Thanks Morpheus.

   "I always try to go the extra mile for my customers" - New York City's most hated cab driver

   believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone's day - even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.

   predicts that in the future, everyone famous will have mental health issues which they parade online for our entertainment.

   Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.