santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   It's wild that Santa can go into people's homes and eat their cookies. But when I do it, I have "issues" and need "help".

   Anyone know how long you could store an unopened loafs of fruit cakes for? Just planning on next year‘s Christmas gifts.

   Merry Christmas you filthy animals!

   Santa, no matter what my wife says, I have been very good this year.

   The toughest test in a marriage is interpreting the statement, "Don't get me anything for Christmas."

   Christmas is really kind of weird. “Let’s all sit around a dead tree in the living room and eat candy out of our socks”

   Save $ decorating your Christmas tree well at the same time confusing your WiFi by placing Aluminum foil in the Paper shredder. Viola Tinsel and sketchy reception.

   Just got my wish list returned from Santa. The note attached said, "LMBO... NO!

   Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don't work, and the other half aren't so bright.

   Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.