santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Just got my wish list returned from Santa. The note attached said, "LMBO... NO!

   Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don't work, and the other half aren't so bright.

   Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

   I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October. I call it my jingle bell rock.

   August is almost over. Tomorrow is September 1st. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

   Why are you all still shooting off fireworks? It's July 8th for crying out loud! One of them flew off course and almost hit my Christmas tree!

   Christmas > Easter. Christmas = Lasagna. Easter = Hard Boiled Eggs. I hope this helps to clear things up.

   Alright we got Christmas presents out the way where my W2 at

   A Charlie Brown Christmas, but the tree is Eric Trump’s brainchild: flimsy, artificial, and overinflated by Dad’s credit card.

   Gary's tips for the holidays: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one.