truebeachbabe Funny Status Messages

   Drove past a rehab center this morning. I couldn't stop laughing at the sign out front: "Stay Off the Grass".

   Pikachu? Come to my backyard and get a Glockatchu!

   You couldn't handle me, even if I came with instructions.

   I was going to let you in front of me, but then I saw your Obama bumper & decided I didn't need a stupid driver in front of me this morning.

   I think you have a deficiency in vitamin me.

   You know how people look through medicine cabinets? I think that's weird. I personally would rather look through their fridge.

   Only you can prevent forrest fires! Seriously though because Smokey the Bear has been furloughed.

   Please don't say "Firecracker". It's very offensive. It is a Fire Caucasian. Thank you.

   We put a man on the moon, but we don't have roll down windows in the back of minivans yet??

   I may not be perfect, but Jesus thinks I'm to die for.