topherboy1981 Funny Status Messages

   Growing up, all I wanted was Girls Gone Wild. As an adult, I ended up with Bills Gone Wild

   who knew a politician named wiener could get into so much trouble?

   I like to play "I Spy" with total strangers and stare at them and say "I spy an idiot"...

   have you ever stood in front of the mirror and said to yourself "who the hell is this person? and then suddenly realize you're standing in front of a coffee shop window staring at a cop...

   have you ever been so sure about something that you were unsure about how sure you were exactly. I'm sure I'm totally unsure about being positively sure to the point of not being positively sure about my integrity of sureness...

   you know what's an odd habit? People who talk with their hands while talking on a cell phone........seriously.....who's that sh*t for?

   Life is short. Tell the people you care about that you love the them. But tell them in German because life is also scary and confusing...

   well the Oscars this year were dominated by the movie Pi....next year, I demand they make a movie named bacon....

   Burger King's new company slogan: "When it comes to hunger, we don't horse around"...

   when I make love, I like to do so to the sounds of the Star Trek theme, so that way the girl feels she's going to a place where no other girl has gone before