shitrus Funny Status Messages

   Porn Hub has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos viewed on its site. The amount of tissue paper I get through, I'm still not sure that's environmentally sustainable.

   Was just talking to my 9 year old nephew. When I asked him what he was up to, he said he was on another phone with his girlfriend. I'm going to ask him for some dating advice.

   If you have a tattoo on your face, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at.