petty 86 Funny Status Messages

   Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Gays are from UrAnus

   No story that begins with "She had never drunk tequila before" ever has a happy ending

   A successful relationship is one in which one person shuts up when the other is right.

   I think at some point a switch flicks in the heads of parents. From "study, study, study" they go "marry, marry, marry".

   If an astronaut killed another astronaut on the moon, would he be arrested when he got back to earth? The only person on earth that can decide this is Miss Universe.

   If one person has an imaginary friend, they're crazy, if many people have the same imaginary friend, it's religion??

   If you are fat and your wearing skinny jeans, it does not make you look skinny.. it makes you look silly!!!