mickey Funny Status Messages

   Dating is like trying on shoes. You think you found a good fit, but it begins to hurt after a little while.

   Soft tacos are just tiny burritos with a sun roof.

   I like my women like I like my peanut butter... chunky.

   They should sell liver sandwiches at baseball games to complete the misery of the entire experience.

   Cruises: Like being on house arrest with midnight buffets.

   Now that summer's over, I'd like to suggest to the ladies (and guys from Canada) that next year, unless you have a rear end made of perfectly sculpted stone, don't wear a thong.

   COVID is going to be an excuse for horrible restaurant service for years to come.

   Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.

   I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.

   The sign at the florist's said, "Say It With Flowers." I go in and ordered one rose. The guy asks me if I'm cheap. I go, "No, I'm a man of few words."