mel Funny Status Messages

   If Homer Simpson were a Democratic Congressman from Springfield, Ohio, he’d be “Homer Simpson (D-OH)"

   If Katniss and Peeta from “Hunger Games” were Hollywood celebrities, their super couple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss.”

   Will you be my Alentine? If so, later I will give you the V.

   If you don't think it gets lonely at the North Pole, take into consideration that Santa named one of his reindeer 'Vixen'.

   I just saved hours of small talk by switching to fat hoes.

   Well, today I realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob, I think I've learned all that is possible for my brain to hold....

   Just did 100 crunches, and I'll be damned if there aren't just crumbs everywhere.

   We hope your holiday season is off to a great start and if it's not you'll keep that whiny $#!t to yourself.

   Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don't you eat all the food?

   The fact that there are a lot people in this world that are significantly more successful than me based solely on their hunt for Bigfoot is really sad.