kelly Funny Status Messages

   You know how when a guy pees and at the end he shakes his thing to get the last drop out? Well, that's how much gas I got for $2.00.

   R.I.P Nobel Laureate Prof. Wangari Maathai....

   i think jay z and beyonce child is gonna be the anti christ... i'm just saying

   Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic

   Twas the night before Christmas, and I have not a joke, just a bunch of these presents and now I am broke. I shall awake in the mornin and hear all the chatter, watch my children open gifts realizing the clothes dont matter. To all of you out there I wish