jack Funny Status Messages

   Nothing says "this wont last"...quite like an engagement ring from Wal-Mart !

   Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can’t watch Breaking Bad.

   I don't mind drinking 1% milk as long as the other other 99% is some combination of vodka and Kahlua

   .I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check

   Two morons are sitting on a fence. The big one fell off, why didn’t the other? He was a little more on.

   I spent 2 years in therapy for my Phil Collins addiction but I did it. Against all odds! Just take a look at me now!!

   3 horrible facts: Today is not Friday Tomorrow is not Friday The day after is not Friday

   My coffee is so black, it's running for President

   You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok.

   If you think 7 yrs is bad luck for breaking a mirror, try a broken condom!