gay jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   My favorite reality show is that one with all the fights at restaurants or bars.

   could really use a time machine to send me to the time before I started eating this whole pizza

   You had me at "I don't like you that way."

   A cool way to second guess your entire life is to go online and read reviews of every movie you think is awesome.

   An Adam Sandler movie marathon is more difficult than a real marathon.

   "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you're freeing sad, post it on facebook so I can enjoy your misfortune."

   in an ideal world, olivia wilde is googling for pictures of me naked

   Children Ruin Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M.)

   I bet when cab drivers ask Prince where he wants to go he closes his eyes and whispers "1999."

   Why does Hollywood believe a self destruct button is a completely logical feature on spaceships?