dumpmonkey Funny Status Messages

   Friends with benefits = awesome! Uncles with benefits = creepy!

   Today's Motto: You can't drink all day unless you start in the morning! Bottoms up, America.

   Everytime I go to the pet store I feel compelled to ask the store clerk "where are all the b!tches at?"

   Talked to Mom tonight. She said she got a good 8 inches in Albany tonight. God I hope she's talking about snow...

   Watching Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod popcorn at the superbowl made me wish I was blind.

   Ever notice there aren't any Asian Nascar drivers.

   You know you're driving a new car when the items you pull from your nose go out the window and not on the floor mat.