dan Funny Status Messages

   If you leave a dream catcher in the rain, does it become a wet dream catcher?

   Trump: A Brazilian has coronavirus Pelosi and Schumer: A Brazilian oh my God how many people is that????

   Hey Bernie and Joe don’t need advice from two old guys wearing Depends. We need TP....

   not telling you

   cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades

   I'm the one who has a problem eating a Popsicle like a normal human being. An my name is Dan.

   I'm sick of hearing about Lance Armstrong. Is he telling the whole truth? My solution...Have Taylor Swift date him for two weeks and then wait for her next album, the whole truth will be revealed!

   Stock tip: Buy Frito-Lay, Little Debbie and any other snack food stock... The people in Colorado and Washington State are going to be getting the munchies.

   I give Mark Zuckerberg new wife 3 years ..before she files ..and walks off with $1billion..not bad if you can get it.

   Mike Wallace dead at 93 - Guess his 60 minutes are up....