chronic Iam Funny Status Messages

   i realized I was getting old today when I discovered my first grey pubic hair."Dont worry, I wasnt as freeked out as the rest of the people in the elivator", I got over it...

   Shot my first turkey yesterday. . scared the $hit out of everyone in the frozen food section... It was awsome!!!

   A teacher in a detriot kindergarden class asked the kids what sound does a pig make? Little Tyrone stood up and yelled FREEZE MUTHAF**KA

   y do women wear white on there wedding day? so the dishwasher matches the fridge and the stove;)

   Dont steal, the government doesnt like competition

   Drugs have taught an entire generation of canadian kids the metric system!

   a man walks up to his wife with a sheep under his arm, and says.. this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headach... confused, the wife says... thats not a pig under your arm?? I wasnt talking to u, replys the man

   Michael jackson hasnt been this stiff since Mucully Culkin spent the night at Neverland ranch..

   If I flip this coin, what are my chances of getting head

   not all women are annoying,,, some are dead